Hat tip: Slugger O'Toole
Ireland is an island to the west of Britain, but Northern Ireland is just off the mainland – not the Irish mainland, the British mainland....
The capital of Ireland is Dublin. It has a population of a million people, all of whom will be shopping in Newry this afternoon. They travel to Newry because it is in the North, which is not part of Ireland.
Under the Irish constitution, the North used to be but a successful 30-year campaign of violence for Irish unity ensured that it is now definitely in the UK. Had the campaign lasted longer the North might now be in France.
UPDATE: For the benefit of correspondents in the comments, this is a light-hearted satirical piece from the Irish News flagged up by Slugger. It is not my considered view of the geography or politics of Ireland!